Friday, August 31, 2012

The Sexsiest Massaging Positions

Admit it, you’ve probably given your woman more than one half-assed rubdown thinking it was all you had to do to warm her up for sex. But you can do better. “Think of massage as sex without the penetration,” says Juan Urosa, a licensed massage therapist from New York City’s acclaimed Great Jones Spa. These 4 massage tips will help turn her on so you both have better sex.

Soak Her Muscles

Get her relaxed before you amaze her. “Prepare a bath and pour in some essential oils,” Urosa says. (You’ll find them in any “chick” store.) “The bath will get her muscles ready for the massage.” And it gives you an excuse to towel her off

Make Her Comfortable

Have her lie on your bed, facedown. Soften your hands with massage oil, then start rubbing her feet, not her back. “We have thousands of nerve endings in our soles that stimulate the entire nervous system,” Urosa says. “Massage each foot, then slowly move up to her calves, then legs, and so on.” Keep the progression slow.

Change up Your Strokes

“Start with compressions—lean on the heels of your palms and apply pressure onto her muscles,” Urosa says. Then knead—don’t poke—her muscles with your fingers. Feather strokes are great on tender areas. Just roll your fingers back and forth while you move your hands up and down the muscle. “Pay attention to the top part of each muscle where it meets the bone.”

Focus on Her Pleasure Zones

“Her inner thighs up to her pelvic bone, her glutes, and pectoral muscles are all highly sensual areas,” Urosa says. They’re also neglected by the pros. “Use compressions followed by kneading on the inner thighs, butt, and tailbone, and feather strokes on the breasts.”
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How to Relearn Listening to Your Spouse

When you have been married for a long time, you may start to wonder what happened to the honeymoon. However, even if you feel that the flame has died down, there is always a way to make your marriage work smoothly again.
The main thing is for you to remember how to listen to what your spouse has to say, and here are a few steps to relearn to listen within your relationship.

Steps

  1. 1
    Devote dedicated time to your relationship to make space for communicating together.
    Devote dedicated time to your relationship to make space for communicating together.
    Devote dedicated time to your relationship to make space for communicating together. Even when you have too much work or you're feeling too tired, it is very important for you to dedicate some time to do things with your spouse that give both of you the opportunity to share. Such opportunities can be activities such as taking a walk or having dinner at a nice restaurant together. It doesn't matter what it is as long as you have the chance to talk and have a nice time together.

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  2. 2
    If you find the time you spend together feels a little bit boring and not conducive to conversation, try to spice things up.
    If you find the time you spend together feels a little bit boring and not conducive to conversation, try to spice things up.
    If you find the time you spend together feels a little bit boring and not conducive to conversation, try to spice things up. Do something that your spouse would find unexpected, like buying some delicious take-out and preparing a movies-night and chill-out together after work. This way your spouse will feel that you're making an effort to make things better between you two and he or she will appreciate it and may be willing to listen to you and talk to you about her or his own stuff.
  3. 3
    Remember that respect is the most important thing in a relationship and that listening forms a large part of respect.
    Remember that respect is the most important thing in a relationship and that listening forms a large part of respect.
    Remember that respect is the most important thing in a relationship and that listening forms a large part of respect. Listen to what your spouse has to say with respect and out of respect. If you don't agree with something, let her or him know without being rude. Aim to be polite above all, so that your spouse feels comfortable in telling you about her or his issues, interests, and concerns.
    • Practice active listening. This is the key to a good ongoing relationship and will ensure that both of you feel listened to.
    • Instead of making demands, learn to make requests. Think about how you like to be asked to do something or to be somewhere or to be considered and be guided by that when forming your requests of your spouse.
    • Avoid turning a legitimate complaint into a blame-shifting exercise. This means avoiding tacking on comments like "what is wrong with you?", "why are you so thoughtless?", or "you don't care anymore". Instead, couch your concerns in terms of how it makes you feel, such as "We agreed that you would clean the bathroom and I mop the kitchen floors. I am upset that you didn't clean this week."
  4. 4
    Start caring again about things your spouse does.
    Start caring again about things your spouse does.
    Start caring again about things your spouse does. It can be hard to do this, especially if you feel that your spouse's work or activities have come between the two of you but showing interest will go a long way to helping both of you to reconnect. Ask your spouse how work was or how she or he feels about something in particular that you know your spouse has opinions about. Try to initiate a pleasant conversation where you can listen about something your spouse enjoys telling you. Let your spouse know you're willing to listen and actively respond to the things your spouse tells you.
    • Offer to go along to a hobby, activity, club, or something else that your spouse is involved in and would like to show you. This will be the ultimate form of listening again, as you act on what your spouse has been telling you.
  5. 5
    Don't ever make it all about yourself.
    Don't ever make it all about yourself.
    Don't ever make it all about yourself. If you're telling your spouse something, remember to ask for her or his point of view. Even if you don't see eye to eye on issues, exploring them together is an important part of continuing to grow within your relationship.
    • Stop and pay attention to what's going through your mind when listening to your spouse. Are you compiling a shopping list, withdrawing into yourself, or truly listening?
    • Discern between constructive criticism and harmful condescension. A spouse sees your foibles as much as your strong points; sometimes, your spouse may try to help you but you might perceive it as criticism. When you are open to learning more about yourself and growing, it will be easier to work out whether the advice is helpful or merely undermining. If it's constructive advice, learn to build upon is rather than distancing yourself from your spouse.
    • If you find that you're in a relationship where condescension drives either or both of your conversation styles, it may be a good time to seek counseling. Condescension can eat away at a relationship until it's very hard to have a conversation without it being about deriding the other person.


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How to Reject a Marriage Proposal

How to Reject a Marriage Proposal

Edited byMaluniu and 10 others
Article Edit Discuss History
Reject a Marriage Proposal
The fairytale suggests that "yes, oh, yes!" is the only answer to ever give to a proposal of marriage. Yet, there are many good reasons for rejecting a proposal, ranging from your uncertainty, to not knowing one another enough, to wondering if the person asking really means it. So, the next time someone proposes and it just doesn't feel right, avoid saying yes to please them, only to break it off later and get it right from the outset.

Edit Steps

  1. 1
    Confirmed bachelor
    Confirmed bachelor
    Think about why you don't want to get married. If you're simply nervous about making such a big commitment (which is not uncommon) try reading the advice in How to overcome the fear of marriage. If you're concerned that you and your mate are not compatible in some way, it's important to address your worries as soon as possible (and long before your partner gets on bended knee).

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    • When dating, does this person feel like "the one", or just someone you're having fun with for now? And does this person seem to be taking the relationship more seriously than you (warning bells)?
    • Your own attitude about marriage. Is it something you want now or later or perhaps even never? Would you rather cohabit, live apart but in love, or have love by distance? If you have strong feelings about not getting married, it might be good to make this reality very clear early into the relationship.
    • Is this a time in life where marriage would suit you or derail the path that you've set in mind for yourself?
    • Are there things that would cause you to feel obliged to get married, no matter how you felt generally? For example, pregnancy, parental health, family ties, expectations, etc.?
    • Have you taken the time to find out the things you need to know about someone you could potentially spend your life with? You need to know how they feel about running a household, politics, religion, having kids, caring for elderly parents, spending habits, saving habits, passions and hobbies, career goals, approaches to disagreements, sharing work commitments, etc.
  2. 2
    How do you think this would look on me some day?
    How do you think this would look on me some day?
    Don't play along with the hints. Most people will test the waters before they propose. If your significant other raises the issue of marriage, even casually, voice any concern or hesitation then. Let's say you're talking about how much houses cost in the area, and your partner mentions that a particular house might be perfect for a newly married couple. Instead of just nodding and smiling, hint back: "It'd make a great house for an unmarried couple too, don't ya think?".
    • If the hints start coming thick and strong, it's probably time for a discussion about where they're headed. Tell them that you're spotting a tendency to raise the subject of marriage a lot lately and that you'd like to clear the air before things go any further, to explain your own personal feelings about marriage and a future together.
  3. 3
    Reflect a little on what you might say if the occasion rises...
    Reflect a little on what you might say if the occasion rises...
    Consider now the sorts of things you might reply to an unwanted proposal. It's not very effective to try and work it out on the spot and there's no harm in assuming you might well be in this position some day. Indeed, many people have a good inkling when someone is getting ready to propose and that's a really good time to be focusing on sorting out your replies! Here are the sorts of things that might be appropriate to say in response to an unwanted proposal (in each case, preface with telling the person why they're wonderful and why you like or love them before adding your rejection of the proposal):
    • "Thanks, that's a really amazing request to ask me. I need time to think about it though; it's not something I'd feel right saying yes to straight away. It's a bit of a surprise for me - would you mind if I take some time to think it over?"
    • "Thanks. That's the kindest thing that's ever happened to me. I do need time to think about it though. I haven't reached the same place as you in terms of how I see commitment and I will need time to think it over."
    • "Thanks, I really love you for being so warm, generous, and caring to want me in your life's plans, but I don't feel it's the right time for me yet."
    • "Thanks. You mean the world to me but right now I'm not ready to make a deeper commitment; I feel I'm still getting to know us better."
    • "Thanks - that's a lovely thing to ask me. Trouble is, I planned to not get married, ever. Perhaps we can consider moving in together instead?"
    • "Thanks, that's incredibly wonderful of you but I have so many questions that I've yet to ask you that I'm not sure of our future compatibility yet. Maybe this is a really good time for us to sit down and talk about the basics of spending a life together, from finances to kids. Until I know all of these things about you, I'm not ready to jump in just yet."
  4. 4
    I'll marry you if your salary increases...
    I'll marry you if your salary increases...
    Avoid making conditional agreements. Love isn't conditional, so telling your partner that you'll say "yes, if..." is not about love but about placing conditions on your future love together. Instead, ask for more time to work out what it is that makes you want to reply conditionally; most likely that's telling enough for you to respond negatively.
  5. 5
    If you are proposed to in private, try not to smile.
    If you are proposed to in private, try not to smile.
    If you are proposed to in private, try not to smile. If your mate has gone as far as to pop the question, they are assuming you will say yes, and your smiling will only confirm their hopefulness, which will make the shock of your rejection greater. Look in your partner's eyes tenderly, put your hand over theirs, and explain why you don't want to get married. If you are in public when proposed to, however, it might be better to give your partner a hug (still not smiling), take his or her hand, and walk to where you can privately say no.
    • The hug is a way to acknowledge that you're touched by your partner's gesture, but it's not necessarily a yes. Hopefully, it is enough to make anyone who's watching lose interest and go back to doing whatever they were doing, which will help ease any embarrassment for your mate.
    • Avoid cracking jokes or being witty. This is a solemn, fragile moment of deep vulnerability and jokes or witty remarks can sting. If you must use humor, be sure to focus it on yourself only.
  6. 6
    Respond to their unhappiness and confusion.
    Respond to their unhappiness and confusion.
    Respond to their unhappiness and confusion. It's likely that the person proposing has put in a lot of effort to asking, including purchasing a ring in some cases and thinking through the depths of why they want to spend the rest of their life with you. Letting down their unhappiness gently isn't going to be easy but you can help. These are the sorts of things that should help:
    • Give them space if they request it. Don't hassle them but let them know you'll be calling in or contacting them shortly (try to make it the same day or next morning).
    • Suggest the two of you do something you both love doing. It will serve as a distraction and it will help the other person realize that you still care, it's just that you really did mean it when you said you needed time to think about it.
    • Explain at length how your relationship with this person still matters a great deal and that your lack of readiness is just something that might change with time. Focus on how great they are, and how uncertain you about your own feelings as to where you are headed in life. Don't leave them feeling it's because they're not good enough.
  7. 7
    Consider the way forward for both of you.
    Consider the way forward for both of you.
    Consider the way forward for both of you. Things can get really awkward from this point, or they can pick up as usual with good, caring approaches to continuing to nurture your love and relationship. If the proposer is able to accept that you genuinely do need more time and that the possibility of marriage some day still exists, or they're happy with the alternatives you've counter-proposed, then the relationship will likely remain strong and forge on. On the other hand, if this rejection opens a rift in your relationship and causes suspicion, anger, resentment, and lack of ease with one another's company, it may be time to reassess the purpose of staying together. It can be hard when someone really believes that they need to marry to be happy and you are looming as a stubborn obstacle in their way... Sum up your next steps by how well the proposer has coped, how well you have coped, and the comfortableness of the relationship post-proposal. However, it's recommended that you don't do anything drastic unless it's clear that this was a natural ending; it can take a few weeks before both of you have had a chance to sort through the post-proposal emotions.
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Now, a lip dub marriage proposal

Sunayana Suresh, TNN Jun 22, 2012, 12.00AM IST
(Now, a lip dub marriage proposal )
Every guy wants his wedding proposal to be different — but this one seems to be the best so far!
Fairy tale weddings begin with fairy tale proposals. And in today's world, that would mean a flash mob! Isaac Lamb, a 31-year-old Portland-based actor, recently staged a lip-sync song and dance routine to Bruno Mars' song Marry You, which has become a viral hit on video-sharing sites with nearly a million hits! Like his lady love Amy Frankel, the world too sat up and took notice of the 60-odd dancers and actors who staged this lip-sync proposal outside Lamb's parents' house. And when the track's original singer Mars tweeted the link saying, "Congrats to Isaac Lamb and the future Mrs. I don't think I could've made a better music video for this song. Thank you" to his nine million-plus followers online, it only led to the video receiving more views.
"Frankly, I didn't know what a flashmob was till I saw some videos of people dancing to Kolaveri! But, I found the whole concept really cool and super fun," says Anirudh, music composer of the viral hit Kolaveri, "A flashmob goes viral on the Internet because it has an emotional connect and showcases people just having a lot of fun without any pressure or force."
Radhika Swamy, copywriter, says that proposal videos online have always generated interest. "Eventually, everyone is a mushy romantic at heart, irrespective of how tough an exterior they put up. I've seen some interestingly named videos online which includes one of a girl called Caroline, whose boyfriend proposed to her during his military graduation. She uploaded it calling it Best Military Proposal Ever. The recent Isaac Lamb lip-dub video, though, beats most of them by far," says she.
This is not the first time that a proposal video has gone viral. Previously, Matt Still had proposed to his girlfriend by playing a six-minute video as a trailer during the screening of the film Hangover 2. This video, which was uploaded as Greatest Marriage Proposal EVER!!! has seen a whopping 20 million plus hits thus far. For all those purists who believed that marriage proposals are private affairs, these videos surely narrate a different story.